Approach

Compassion first. Rational second. Choice third

A practical framework to meet emotions, see through false beliefs, and act from values instead of fear.

Compassionate

Compassion is the starting point of CRI. Instead of fighting emotions or judging ourselves, we meet the protective voices inside—the Reactor, Accuser, and Demander—with understanding. By validating the hurt beneath and sitting with it gently, we create space for healing and allow the Wounded Identity to feel seen rather than suppressed. Compassion softens the inner struggle and anchors resilience.

Rational

Once compassion steadies us, rational clarity comes into focus. Here we untangle the realms of ME, YOU, and LIFE, separating wants from rigid demands. Using clear logic and grounded metaphors, we see through the false equations that say, “I can’t be okay unless…” This rational step doesn’t dismiss feelings—it frees them from distorted beliefs, opening the way back to authorship and inner stability.

Inquiry

Inquiry is the practice that integrates compassion and rationality into real-life choice. By asking structured questions, we move through the IDBR Loop—Identity → Demand → Blame → Reaction—and return to the Resilient Identity. Inquiry transforms emotional triggers into moments of authorship, guiding us to choose aligned actions: letting go, setting a boundary, asking clearly, or redirecting toward values.

What is CRI?

Compassionate Rational Inquiry (CRI) is a step-by-step approach to emotional resilience. It helps you pause in the middle of distress, meet the voices inside with compassion, see through distorted beliefs, and return to clear, values-based choices.

Why CRI Works?

Suffering doesn’t come directly from life events but from the loop inside:

Identity → Demand → Blame → Reaction (the IDBR Loop).

CRI interrupts this loop by:

Recognizing protective belief parts (Demander, Accuser, Reactor).
Meeting the Wounded Identity with compassion.
Separating the ME, YOU, and LIFE realms to see reality clearly.
Choosing from the Resilient Identity instead of fear.

The Process at a Glance

CRI can be walked in different lengths depending on what you need in the moment:

One Breath Reset (30 seconds): Notice, breathe, soften.
4–Question Core: Compassion, clarity, choice.
8–Question Full Process: Step-by-step through the IDBR Loop.

What Makes CRI Different

Unlike purely cognitive approaches, CRI begins with compassion for the protective voices rather than fighting them. Unlike purely meditative practices, it doesn’t stop at awareness—it moves into clear, rational reframing and practical action. CRI blends psychology, philosophy, and compassion into a usable everyday method.

A Quick Example

Trigger: “You didn’t call me this morning.”

Reactor: “Alarm! I feel panicked.”
Accuser: “You don’t care.”
Demander: “You must call me or I can’t be okay.”
Wounded Identity: “I feel unworthy.”
CRI Response: “This is painful, but I’m still whole. I prefer the call, but don’t need it. I’ll sit with the ache, then choose whether to ask calmly or let it pass.”

Invitation to Explore More

CRI is a skill you can practice. With time, it rewires your emotional loops, turning suffering into resilience. Explore the full guide, take the self-reflection assessment, or start with the quick 4 questions.